


If I Ever Want Proof (I Find It In You)

by rashasha



Category: Free!
Genre: Best Friends to Lovers, Falling In Love, Kinda, M/M, Or pretty much already in love, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-30
Updated: 2014-08-30
Packaged: 2018-02-15 08:49:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2222886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rashasha/pseuds/rashasha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto seems to believe he isn't irreplaceable. Haruka thinks otherwise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I Ever Want Proof (I Find It In You)

Haruka’s been getting comfortable staring at his ceiling, but he doesn’t really know when it started. Maybe last week, maybe last month. He can’t really tell.

What he does know is that, with a turn to his right, he won’t sleep.

Makoto has been his best friend since… well, since he was too young to remember meeting him. It was weird, at first, being friends with someone. He didn’t mind being alone; the silence never scared him like it would Makoto. _T_ _his person_ , Haruka would think, _never shuts up._ But of course, he grew used to the constant noise; eventually, he now realizes, he learned to love it. 

It’s that last part that scares Haruka, the fact that he sometimes can’t stand being alone anymore because he doesn’t quite want the silence.

He gives in to the yearning he can feel burn through his chest, quietly turning onto his right side so that he can see his best friend sleeping. His pulse quickens, yet at the same time he can’t help but feel remarkably at peace.

Lately, he’s been finding himself doing this whenever Makoto stays the night at his house, and he almost _absolutely_ knows the reason why.

The break before their final year at Iwatobi High hasn’t been easy, especially so for Makoto. What with having to watch his younger siblings while taking up extra recommended work for his plans after graduating, Haruka knows Makoto barely has time to breathe any more, let alone sleep. He’s been letting Makoto stay over more often recently so that he could relax from the constant noise at his own house.

Makoto keeps insisting that Haruka doesn’t need to do this, that just having a quiet place to study for a few hours is impeding enough.

Haruka tries to ignore the _ping_ he feels in his chest when he stares at Makoto’s relaxed face, so different from what it’s like during the day.

It’s only fair, Haruka thinks, that he be the calm place Makoto needs at the end of the day, where he can unwind from the chaotic daily chores he deals with. After all, that’s what Makoto has been for Haruka since he’s known him; he likes to believe he’s merely returning the favor 

(he knows that’s not really it, though. Not really). 

Haruka will tell himself that, maybe once or twice a day, while Makoto is gone. Yet, once Makoto is back, there’s no denying what it really is. 

Love, Haruka realizes, is a tricky thing. He’d always been told that when he found the one he would know in an instant; his hands would shake, his vision would narrow down to that one person. 

But that’s not what he thinks anymore. He knows this because his hands don’t shake when he’s with Makoto.

He once read a poem that claimed that love is immeasurable, that one type of love isn’t greater than the other. At first, he couldn’t understand because of course, some loves could be greater. Surely lovers had a greater love than friendships had. Now, as he keeps repeating those few lines in his head, he understands that maybe he was wrong. 

He doesn’t know which type of love he has for Makoto, only that the love he has is so great he sometimes wishes he could tear it from his chest to show only Makoto.  

If he wasn’t so selfish, he’d tell Makoto every second of every day (he’d much rather listen to Makoto’s voice than his own, anyways)- 

His eyes snap open, startling him for several seconds before realizing he had fallen asleep. He’s still facing Makoto, which doesn’t feel so weird anymore, and he exhales, letting go of a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. The tightness Haruka had been feeling in his chest surprisingly wasn’t there; his next breath he barely felt touch his lips. He closed his eyes, relishing in the fact that he could breathe properly again. 

He opened his left eye, checking to make sure Makoto was still asleep before letting a quick laugh out. This _lightness_ he knows, recognises it like an old friend. Before he can second-guess himself, he takes the hand Makoto has outstretched in front of him into his own, letting himself fully enjoy the fire surely burning throughout his entire body. It sears its way from his chest, down to the fingertips of his hand, and he involuntarily shivers at the feeling.

Some hidden part of Haruka wishes that Makoto would wake up in that instant, to find Haruka staring at him as if he is the best thing Haruka could have ever asked for because _he is_ and _why is it so hard to love someone so much?_

Haruka settles with the fact that, in the morning, he’ll be able to hold Makoto’s hand while Makoto’s eyes are open too (Makoto isn’t the only mind reader).

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed my first (free!) fic! This was only supposed to be a one-shot, but I'm not super sure.


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